Introducing: Brandon Clark Prince

January 27, 2015... the day our world changed in ways we could have never prepared for.

It started as most ordinary Tuesdays do. I got ready for school, Brandon slept on, the boys were just happy to get breakfast. School went by slowly as most days seemed to. I stayed after school to get my second day of parent conferences done since I planned on being gone the next week during our regularly scheduled conferences. I finally left the school around 5:30 and headed straight to the hospital.

I had been going to the hospital twice a week for about a month to do stress-tests to make sure that Clark was healthy and getting the oxygen he needed. He was a stud when it came to these tests, within the first 5 or so minutes he would "pass" the test and give us the jumps we like to see. Then we would settle in for the next 20-25 minutes to hang out and complete it!

I was already exhausted by the time I got to the hospital so I settled into the (really comfortable) hospital bed hoping to rest during the test. Then I would grab some dinner, play with the dogs a little and go to bed early. As the nurse got us hooked up to the machine, she commented on how low his basal heart rate was. During previous tests Clark's basal rate was around 130, during this test he stayed around 105. I was a little nervous about his heart rate but the nurse assured me that as long as he continued to show the jumps (proof that he was getting the oxygen he needed) that we would be just fine. The nurse came back after about 20 minutes, she had called my doctor and let him know that the heart rate was a little low but he was still jumping perfectly. The doctor instructed her to cut us free. As she was finishing up my chart, Clark's heart rate dropped to 90, twice. The nurse wasn't comfortable with those dips so she decided to keep us for a few more minutes to see if those drops were a fluke or not. On her way out I mentioned that my insulin needs had started to drop (a sign that my body was starting to ready for birth) a day or two earlier. Brandon called and I let him know what was going on and to keep his cell phone close and on loud (he was at work). The nurse came back about 8 minutes later to let me know that Clark continued to drop and that my doctor was on his way in to take a look and talk to us. I called Brandon to give him an update.

Dr. Isabel got to the hospital in record time! He sat down and looked at our charts. He was pretty blunt and told me that when they start seeing abnormalities in diabetic pregnancies they also start seeing fetal deaths.  ((insert panicking mom here)) To avoid any other problems, we were going to have a baby that night! When I asked about our timeline I was told I could expect to have the baby in 30 min. to an hour. ((again with the panic!!)) I frantically called Brandon (who just happened to be serving a felony warrant at the time), my mom (who was in Pocatello with my sister's family) and my principal (who is amazing and took care of all my school things so I didn't have to fret about that!).  Between the two nurses buzzing around me prepping me for surgery and the anesthesiologist had me sign the papers describing all of the things that could go wrong! That whole time was quite a blur, I'm pretty sure I was in shock!

Brandon got to the hospital in record time, he even was able to stop at home, change and grab our hospital bags! Within a half hour of talking with Dr. Isabel, Brandon, his parents, and my mom and sister had made it to the hospital and we were ready to meet this baby! Things settled down as we waited for Dr. Isabel to deliver another baby. Finally it was our turn!

They wheeled me into the operating room and had Brandon wait in the recovery room until I was ready to go. It was pretty scary to go through all of the prep by myself, especially the spinal block! At one point, after I was all iodined up and ready to go, Dr. Isabel came in with his nurse and took their spots on either side of me. Someone handed the Dr. a long, thin, purple object and he started to move toward my stomach. I started to panic and frantically asked why my husband wasn't with me and why there was no screen to block my sight! The nurse chuckled and let me know it was only a marker so he could stitch me back up perfectly! Finally Brandon was allowed to come in and the processes started! Brandon was giving me a play by play and joking with the anesthesiologist the whole time! He thought it was the coolest thing ever! At 8:50 pm our (big) baby boy was brought into this world! he cried almost right away, such beautiful music to my ears! I didn't get a good look at him before they passed him through the window to get cleaned and checked out but luckily Brandon was able to take a few pictures so that I could see him. As they stitched me up, Clark came back and I was able to "cuddle" him while Brandon held him. It was such a special time but also so frustrating to not be able to move and hold him. It took about 30 minutes to finish stitching me up and then we were moved to the recovery area. I was finally able to hold my baby boy, one of the best feelings ever! After Clark nursed for the first time, the rest of our family was able to come in and meet him. We are so blessed to be surrounded by family and people who love us so much!

He has been such a great eater and sleeper from the start. One of things we were concerned about was  the chance that Clark would have to spend some time in the NICU due to blood sugar issues. The nurses checked his blood sugar before each nursing and every time it came back completely normal, we didn't have to spend anytime in the NICU. It was a such a relief to have such a healthy baby boy.

Brandon Clark Prince was born 3 1/2 weeks early on January 27, 2015 at 8:50 pm. He was 8 lbs. 8 oz and 21 inches long. He is so loved <3

Boy oh Boy

You heard that right... we are going to be all BOY at our house for a while longer! To tell you the truth, I'm ecstatic. I think in my heart I knew he was a boy all along and of course Brandon never wavered!

Brandon and I got to the doctors office and settled in for a long wait. I love my doctor, but waiting for an hour just to get back to a room kills me every time! I'm just thankful I don't have a little one running around, waiting with me. We finally got back to the ultrasound room and did some more waiting. I don't know if I have ever seen Brandon so giddy. He was bouncing off the walls and being so silly. I was feeling the same way, but was trying to keep it together. The U/S Tech we work with is amazing. He is so good at making us feel comfortable and let us know every little thing he was doing.

My heart melted when we got the first glance of baby boy.

Baby Boy is upside down! Legs in the air and head on the bottom. 

We got to see every beautiful, wonderful, perfect part of our little guy. His tiny heart pumping, his sweet legs kicking, his little brain... what a miracle! 

Baby boy is already just like his daddy. Throughout the entire U/S he wouldn't stop moving! It's no wonder I'm still tired as all get out, his little legs and arms were in constant motion. 

Arm over his head. Dramatic already :)

We couldn't be more excited or happy. All of baby boy is healthy (and looked pretty happy too!). He is measuring right on track and we are still expecting a sweet, Valentines Day baby. The only question left is how do I speed up time?!

Growing by Two Feet

I can't hold it in any longer!! We are going to be PARENTS! 

What a roller coaster of emotions this summer has been for our family. To tell the story properly, let me back up to the last time we talked babies...

About 6th months ago I started telling our story, and the hopes we had of starting our family. (You can read about it here). At that time we had gone through months of fertility drugs and had been told that the next step would be an IUI (Intrauterine insemination). I was terrified but after doing some research and talking with a few friends who had gone through the process we decided to take the plunge and go for it. Our first procedure took place in December. There's nothing better to take all romance out of making a baby than going through infertility treatments! I won't take you through all of the details but essentially you do the procedure and then wait an excruciating two weeks to find out if it worked. Longest two weeks of my life! We were so sure this was going to work. I did everything I could to make sure I didn't sabotage anything and tried not to stress out (that part was an epic fail!). After the two weeks had passed, another negative result sent me into a tailspin. We did everything we were supposed to and I still couldn't seem to make it work. We opted to try again in January only to be faced with the same disappointment.

We took a few months break due to crazy schedules, bad cycles and military training and were ready to jump back on the horse in May. About this time we started talking about adoption. We had already decided that if this IUI failed, we would stop trying and start pursuing a family through adoption. The more we discussed it, the more it felt right so I called LDS Family Services and set up our first appointment. From the moment we got there, our excitement seemed to bubble over! Our case worker gave us the initial application and paperwork and we immediately started. By the next day everything was turned in and we were ready! As we were getting ready to start the next step, the BIG hunk of paperwork (no joke it is CRAZY how much you have to fill out!), the day came for our final IUI. Brandon looked right at me after I told him and said, "We aren't doing another one. I just feel like we are on the right path with the adoption and it would be a waste of money and emotions." I immediately agreed. Brandon left that weekend for his annual 2 week training with the National Guard and I had just finished school and was ready to take on this adoption. By the time Brandon got home, I had it all finished except for 3-4 pieces that were Brandon's to fill out. I could hardly contain my excitement. Finally we were doing something proactive in starting our family!! 

The Sunday after Brandon got home was Father's Day. I woke up early and had the strangest prompting that I needed to take a pregnancy test. I figured it was just me being paranoid, I was a few days late but honestly that didn't mean much after the past two years! So I got up and did the test. I'm not even joking, the minute I laid the test down the two pink lines were already formed! It was almost instantaneous. I honestly couldn't believe it and stood staring at the test in disbelief. When I finally snapped out of it, I tackled Brandon and told him he was going to be a daddy. Groggily he replied that it wasn't a funny joke and I was a jerk. It took a solid 5 minutes of convincing and showing him the test before he actually believed me. We could hardly keep this news to ourselves! We called his parents right away and told them the good news, finally they were going to be grandparents! Church was amazing and I don't think that I heard one word of what was said, I spent too much time thanking the Lord over and over and over!  We waited until we got to my parents house for Father's Day dinner and spilled the beans to my side of the family. 

I still get the chills thinking about that day and how the Lord works on his own timing. I know that we were meant to have to wade through all of the heartache that comes with infertility. I know that Heavenly Father has a much bigger plan than any of us see and that faith in him includes faith in his timing. I cannot wait to be a mom and I know that Brandon will be an amazing father. Only 27 more weeks until we get to meet our little belly bean <3

The "I" word...

**I am going to preface this post with this: This post is not a cry for attention nor am I writing it in hopes that you will pity us. This is an update for all who care to know what is happening in our lives. If you wish to continue reading, please do, and if you don't want to finish this post,  I won't hold it against you!**

Infertility
It's an ugly word.
A word that cuts deep.
A word that demolishes hopes and dreams.
A word that has been floating around in my mind for the past 6 months.

Infertility is much more than just a word. It's a lifestyle that no one chooses to live. It is a reminder of your deepest hopes and wishes and how far you have to reach them. It is a constant companion that you just want to be rid of once and for all.

Brandon and I have been dealing with this monster for about 2 years now.  At first, we didn't know it. We assumed it was just taking us a little longer than most. Mostly due to our busy lives and hectic schedule. But after a year had past, we started to get nervous. We decided to wait until I finished my first year as a real teacher before seeing a doctor about it.

I went to see my doctor in June. We talked about what was going on and some of our options. We decided to try Clomid because it is a relatively "safe" fertility drug. Safe meaning the chance for multiples is much less than the other drugs and it is supposed to have few side effects. Brandon and I were so excited, here was our chance! We had been praying and begging the Lord to help us and now we were going to get pregnant and by next summer we would have our little prince or princess.

But life never happens that easily.

We tried month after month and by November we still had no luck. We decided to visit another doctor for a second opinion but received the same answer as the first. The next step is probably an IUI. This is when it really became a reality to me. It is a hard thing to know that the one thing you've dreamed of for years just isn't happening and may never. It's even harder when it is seeming to happen to everyone else but you. Infertility is an isolated, lonely world. Not because you are the ONLY couple experiencing it, but because no one talks about it. No one wants to discuss it, it's said in hushed tones, with looks of pity displayed across faces. One of my friends who has been going through the same thing started posting about their journey and I can't tell you how much her blog has helped me through my own heartache and sorrow. I hope that if anyone else is going through the same thing, they can find comfort knowing they are not alone. That sometimes it just takes someone in a similar situation, speaking up to help out.

These past two years have been rough. Of course there have been WAY more positives than negatives but it is difficult to see your hopes and dreams be crushed month after month, negative test after negative test.

At this point, I don't know what our future holds. But if you can take a few minutes to say a quick prayer we would appreciate it. I know the power of prayer and I know that our Heavenly Father loves us and knows each and every one of our heartaches. We will have a family one way or another!